I have found that most Americans, regardless of age, race, education, or socioeconomic background, walk around in quiet desperation. To repeat it again, this quiet desperation encompasses almost all of us, minus the very fortunate few, who, for some benefit, have either avoided this societal norm, or who mentally live outside of the huddled masses’ ideologies.
So, what is Quiet Desperation? With the advent of social media, we are more connected on a superficial level than ever before. Seemingly, you are never alone, disconnected, or isolated. This is an absolute fallacy. On the surface, we appear to have the closest of ties, however, the truth is that there is so much information crossing our eyes in a matter of minutes, it is nearly impossible to truly connect, dive in, have empathy for, or embrace the photo or video that showed up on our phones, tablets or computers.
We scroll through our phones when we eat, watch tv or a movie, argue, drive, are bored, and for some even during sex! (Or we quickly grab our phones when we are done.) It is this abundance of information and true lack of fulfillment on both ends that provokes us to upload videos or posts. You see a picture of someone having a great time? Well, “me too”! My life is amazing too, look at what I just did! Desperate to fit it, desperate to be noticed. We believe that if we upload compelling posts, images and videos, that it will garner us more “likes” and hence gives us a sense of completion.
Back to the Quiet Desperation. You had to really understand that plastic world that we live in to fully understand Quiet Desperation. You see, we have bought into showing or posting our best life, as opposed to LIVING our best life. In reality, that best life is filled with many more downs than ups, and most definitely more than what we like to show to the outside world…especially on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter!
You came into this world by yourself and you will leave by yourself. This individuality and oneness is owned by you. YOU live with it every day, regardless of what prism you decide you want the world to see you through. No matter how fantastic you want others to believe your life truly is.
When you are living a life that doesn’t represent your AUTHENTIC SELF, your life will be wrought with many ups and downs and will be a continual roller coaster because your baseline of happiness and peace will ALWAYS be reflective of someone else’s perception of you. You will soar too high with “likes” or appreciation and sink too low with the lack of “likes” or perceived slights.
Fortunately, regardless of the depth at which you rely on others for approval seeking, you can snap out of it and start a new fulfilling and self-directed life, and it’s easier than you can ever imagine! So, how is this done, you say? Stop being desperate! You don’t need attention from anyone but yourself. It’s time to practice some good old fashioned self care.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to step away from your quiet desperation. Spend a day embracing you and analyzing your perception of YOURSELF. That means…no social media, for an entire day. 24 hours of self-validation, face to face conversations and living your best life with YOURSELF and your family. How difficult will it be for you NOT to share, upload or post? The level of difficulty may correspond to how quietly desperate you were before this exercise. But with practice, you can take back your power and live your life for YOURSELF and ON PURPOSE.
Don’t be afraid to tell us how it went. Share your story and whatever revelations you had during your mission. But not until after your 24 hour window has closed…